Living with Coronavirus is a turbulent experience.
Is it a little bit like being high and coming down?
No. I don’t think so.
One minute I’m in the sunshine building a bird box and then I’m shouting at my daughter because she says she’s bored and not enjoying building a bird box.
We’re all bored.
And then I’m getting stressed at my workload, but completely unable to get anything of any value done, and my workload carries on growing.
I know there are things I should be doing. But I don’t want to do them.
I know I shouldn’t just be watching Netlix every night. But I have no energy for anything else.
I know it’s not right to drink every night, but there is a sense of what’s the point in not drinking?
I know that’s not just me. Every time I chat with a friend we talk about how strange it is that we’re all drinking daily.
I suddenly feel a sense of calm because I’m not rushing around from one meeting to another, and I finally get to pause, and the sun is shining and I have more time with the people I love.
And then I realise there are still lots of things I could be doing so I’m not feeling that calm anymore.
And yes I get to spend more time with the people I love. But that only equates to two people, and what about all the other people?
It’s like the world has stopped. But it’s not stopped.
I’m calm, but I’m not calm.
People are dying in their hundreds in my country. But no-one I know has died, yet, thankfully.
Ooh, it’s a bloody roller coaster.
I send an newsletter and then I wonder, was it a good? Should I have sent it? Did I even mean the things I wrote?
I send an email to a colleague and get a stressed reply back.
I talk to my clients, who are happy today, but last week were crying.
And amongst all of this, we do have to keep carrying on. Because the world has stopped turning and not stopped turning all at the same time.
I know I can't be the only one feeling like this.
But just so you know, on the whole I'm ok, how are you?