I’ve been thinking about how much living with Coronavirus is like living with grief.
It’s hard to accept, there can be tears, anger, acceptance and despair all in one afternoon.
The ground beneath our feet is no longer stable. Every day there are new announcements, a daily death toll, businesses thriving and dying around us.
Oh, this may sound a little melodramatic now I look at it – and that’s exactly what’s going on in all our heads!
We have thoughts, then we go off have a cup of tea, talk to our family and when we come back to our thoughts they don’t seem quite as momentous as they did 15 minutes ago.
So, I was wondering what the different stages of grief or heartbreak are and how you can map your own feelings out against them.
The 7 stages of grief:
Shock – the initial paralysis at hearing the news
Denial – trying to avoid the inevitable
Anger – frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion
Bargaining – seeking in vain for a way out
Depression – final realisation of the inevitable
Testing – seeking realistic solutions
Acceptance – finally finding the way forward
And just like the grief of a person, some of you might have all of these in one day, some of you might have some and not others.
I don’t think we go through these stages in a linear fashion. Like right we’re over the shock now, it’s time for the denial phase.
We weave in and out of different states at different times.
I’m sure just looking at this list, you can mentally start ticking ones off. That time I slammed the frying pan down on the stove a little too hard, that was anger. That family having a house party in Derby, that was denial.
The one I want to focus on here is testing and acceptance.
Testing
If what we are to hear is true, that we might be living this way for at least 3 months, if not 6 – then we need to start looking for some resolutions.
What’s been interesting to me is that my business hasn’t just crumbled. There have been ways I can use my influence to support people and give them hope.
Working with my clients over the past week and a bit, I’ve seen people fall into 2 camps.
The first being I’m going to take my business online, of course, they need a little help with the tech wizardry and know-how, but they’re giving it a go. They’re testing it out.
Often businesses that would have been scared to take the plunge and might have held of for another couple of years are diving in and trying things out.
And the second. People who can’t really deliver their product in this current climate, so they’re using this time to hunker down, to establish relationships, to improve their website and sales funnel and do some of that much-needed strategy that they never get time to do.
There has not been 1 client who has totally thrown in the towel.
We’re all testing. Seeking realistic solutions for what’s happening in our lives and our businesses right now.
And that might not be coming up with the latest newest fandangled course. It might be getting through those things you’ve always wanted to do, but up until now couldn’t find the time to do them.
Acceptance
And then finally we have acceptance. This doesn’t necessarily mean we like what’s going on, or we don’t want it to change. But that you accept for now this is how things are going to be.
At this stage can come hope. Life isn’t the same as it was, but it does go on.
Obviously living with Coronavirus isn’t exactly the same as losing someone you love. But we have all lost something, our freedom mostly to do as we want to. And in week 2 of the lockdown, we need to be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to take the time we need to be ok with what’s going on.
I know businesses that went into overdrive creating new products in week 1, who are now realising that they need to sit back and let the situation really sink in.
Whatever you’re doing right now is exactly what you need to be doing.
As always, focus on what your intentions and needs are. Don’t spend too much time looking at what everyone else is doing.
I love the saying ‘ride the horse in the direction it’s going’. We have to, there’s no alternative, but how you ride the horse is entirely up to you. Fast with a gun in your hand, or slow and side-saddle – both ways are riding the horse. One is not better than the other. Both horses will get there in the end.
Go get ‘em, cowboy!
And if you fancy talking to me about how I might help you and your business survive Corona - I’d love to hear from you x
